Friday, November 8, 2013

insatiable power quest

Poopie Time   

Early one morning, around age 5 or 6, I heard my father, yelling my name, over and over, from where he was sitting, in his bathroom. 

I remember responding to his yells, the 1st time. I went to where the yelling was coming from, his closed bathroom door. I stood outside the door and answered, "yes?"  He ordered me to open the door. 

Reluctantly, I opened the door to see him sitting on his toilet, pants around his ankles and newspaper spread on the floor. The room stank. 

He told me to come in and to close the door. 

The stench was incredible; I stood as far away from him as possible, breathing only through my mouth, trying to avoid any part of what I had just walked into.

He then began to question me, about my mother, sisters and my brother. He wanted to know if I knew anything "interesting" about them - what did they do when he was not there, where did they go, who did they bring into the house, etc. 

This exercise went on for awhile, until I simply quit responding to his yells, going out the back door, getting on my bike and leaving the house. 

Children know when something is not "right." 

My father has never been "right."

This abusive behavior has evolved over the years, to what it was when I was last around him, less than a year ago - getting me in a car or truck with him, where he would lean over and fart, always saying something like "I need to take a shit", or "I need to break wind", now seeing him for who he really is - a very, very sick person.

During my 709 day stent in rehab, in 06', 07' and 08', I was in 3 different facilities, around hundreds of people, both men and women, all of us suffering from various ailments, some more serious than others.  I saw everything from simple anxiety to severe schizophrenia. I never observed anyone as grossly demented as my father is today, using and then abusing at will, each and every person he can, in his own "special" way, in an effort to inflict the most damage possible, exerting his supposed power, all while justifying and rationalizing his sick entitled behavior with his multitude of ongoing resentments.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous
    November 23, 2013 at 7:02 PM
    Dear Mike. Check out this video:


    mike pickensNovember 23, 2013 at 7:15 PM
    thanks for the link - "psychopath" fits like a glove !